


Unexpected Variables

by jaybirdwrites



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Let me fix all of your Newt feels, NSFW chapter, Newt deserved better, Suicide Attempt, The Death Cure destroyed us all but Newt gets to live dammit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 06:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16080284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaybirdwrites/pseuds/jaybirdwrites
Summary: Amy has been in the glade for a long time. The friendship that develops between her and Newt is about to be tested again and again.





	1. Fly Away

"Amy, get over here and help us!"

Amelia was already running, her eyes fixed on the crumpled figure on the ground near the maze entrance. The other med-jack, Clint, was already there, attempting to calm the boy down until he could be carried to the med-jack hut.

Newt squirmed in the dirt, attempting to get away from him.   
"Just let go of me, you shuck-faced shank! Just let me go! I need to get the hell out of here... " He tried to get up but fell back to the ground with a scream of agony, passing out after he landed hard on the dirt.

Amy crouched down opposite to Clint, attempting to tear her gaze away from Newt's leg, which was twisted awkwardly and covered in blood.

"We better move him while he's still out. On three."

Amy nodded, attempting to get a good grip on Newt without placing any pressure on the leg.

"One... two... three!"

They hefted Newt off the ground, tearing a whimper from his lips. As they began carrying him away, his eyes opened fractionally, staring vaguely up at the sky.

"Why... why couldn't you just let me die...?"

Amy tried to keep her grip from slipping as she felt tears pooling in her eyes. Had he done this to himself? "You're gonna be okay, Newt. It's gonna be okay soon."

Newt's eyes managed to lock with hers for a moment, "... no..." before his head fell back and he was unconscious again.

\---

The first thing I felt in the darkness was pain, radiating from my leg up through my entire body like ripples from a stone dropped into a pond.

The next thing I felt was a warm, soft pressure on my hand. When I managed to open my eyes, I saw Amy slumped beside the cot I was lying on. She appeared to be asleep, her brown hair dangling over her face, her hand loosely holding mine.

A vague memory floated to the surface of my mind, of her voice telling me  _it's going to be okay_.

But it wasn't. We were trapped in the maze, for over a year now. She had only been here for a month, tops. She wouldn't understand. There was no way out. But there was a way to end it.

_I took one last breath, and stepped off into the abyss, welcoming it. I felt the air rushing past me, blowing my hair out of my face, lifting my arms as if I could fly. And for a second, I allowed myself to believe it._

_And then the ground slammed into me with a loud crack. Everything became blinding, white hot pain. The fact that I was still conscious enough to feel it meant that I had probably failed._

_'Not high enough...' I managed to think, before everything went black._

I shoved the memory away and allowed my head to roll back until I stared at the ceiling, and closed my eyes. I was so tired, and sleep was a welcome escape from the pain...


	2. Snapshots From The Maze

Some days were slow as a med-jack, when nobody injured themselves. On those days, Amy made herself useful in the garden with the track-hoes.

"Hey, could you pass me that bucket of fertilizer please?"

Newt leaned heavily on his shovel, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.

"Sure." Amy crouched over and hefted the bucket, carrying it over and placing it beside him.

"Thanks, love."

Amelia froze, eyes fixed in front of her.  _'Love?'_  Her cheeks went pink, as she tried to compose herself. Obviously, he didn't mean it that way.

Newt apparently didn't notice, reaching instead to move the bucket. He winced noticeably when he placed weight on his bad leg, knuckles turning white on the hand still gripping the shovel's handle for support.

"Newt... maybe you should take a break. Your leg's still healing."

Newt narrowed his eyes, straightening up, "I'm fine," he nearly growled, scowling at the dirt.

Amy sighed but didn't press on. Losing his position as a runner had been hard on Newt, and it was already clear he probably wouldn't be able to get back into it. He was stubborn, always trying to hide it. But Amy, and many of the others, could tell he was still in constant pain. They worked until sundown, when the monolithic walls ground shut. By the end of the day, Newt was limping heavily.

After dinner, he disappeared to his room. Amy debated with herself, but eventually decided on following.

She knocked hesitantly on his door. After a moment of silence, Newt responded, "yeah?"

"It's me. Can I come in?"

At his affirmative, she slipped quietly inside.

Newt sat on his hammock, his expression sour.

Amy decided to get right to the point, "it's your leg, isn't it? It's not healing properly?"

Newt's silence was all the confirmation she needed.

"I told you to take it easy," she sighed, moving closer, "let me see."

"What? No! Amy, it's fine. Just bloody leave it alone."

"Newt, don't be such an idiot. Let me do my job and show me your damn leg."

Newt looked surprised. Amy didn't generally give out commands. With a grumble, he reached down and rolled up his pant leg. His ankle was swollen, the angry redness spreading up his calf towards his knee.

Amy reached out gingerly to feel it, checking the bone, and Newt hissed with pain, gritting his teeth. She withdrew her hand quickly.

"I'll get you some ice to help the swelling come down. Tomorrow, you are to stay off your leg whenever possible. That means you won't be working, either."

Newt knew better than to protest. She was the better of the two med-jacks, after all. She generally knew what she was doing. Instead, he glared at her silently as she strode away to the med-jack hut.

\---

Two years. At least. It felt like forever. An eternity of being trapped in this maze with no memory of the past or what lay beyond these walls.

Amy sighed, her hammock creaking as she rocked slightly in the darkness. Rain pattered softly on the roof, making the moonlight that shone through her window dance across the floor. She thought back to when she had arrived, confused and terrified. The only girl. At least then, the glade had been more sparsely populated. Now, she was sharing it with about fifty boys... still the only girl. The ones who had been there longest treated her like they would any of the others, like an equal, but the newer arrivals often threw cheesy pick-up lines her way. The would often show up at the med-jack hut claiming they had fallen for her, or something like that. She had learned to more or less ignore them.

She was snapped from her memories at the sound of the door to her room creaking open.

A figure slunk in, making it's way quickly towards her. The boy held a finger to his lips, placing a hand possessively on her shoulder, pressing her down. The intention was all too clear.

"Hey! Don't touch me, you bastard!" Amy roared as threw herself off the hammock, landing on the side opposite to him. Before the boy could react, she attacked, landing a punch to his nose that almost certainly broke it. She followed this by a knee thrust into his groin, and he went down with a wail.

Newt and a couple of other boys burst in.

"What in the bloody hell is going on in here?!"

Newt looked at the boy, still groaning on the floor, his face now illuminated in a patch of moonlight.

"Don?" He questioned.

Amy was simmering with fury, "get him the hell away from me."

Understanding dawned in Newt's eyes, and they darkened into an anger that nearly matched Amy's.

He turned to the rest of the spectators, who stood speechless at the edge of the doorway. "You heard her, lads. Get him out of here. Throw him in the slammer while you're at it, we'll decide what to do with him tomorrow."

When Don had been half-dragged away, Newt and Amy were left alone in the room. The silence was heavy with anger as Amy stared at the spot where Don had lain. The only sound to be heard for a long while was the rain, still drumming overhead.

Newt finally spoke.

"Are you all right, Amelia?"

"No, I am definitely not all right," she spat, "if I ever see his face again -"

"You won't," Newt interrupted darkly.

The silence fell over them again for a long moment.

"Amy, you're shaking."

She didn't respond.

Newt strode slowly, carefully towards her. "It's alright, Amy. You're safe now." Uncertainly, he put an arm around her, hoping to comfort her. She froze for a moment, and Newt was suddenly terrified that it had been the wrong thing to do, especially after what had just happened. He was about to hastily withdraw when Amy leaned into him, still shaking, allowing him to wrap his other arm around her. They stood that way quietly, Newt holding her awkwardly, waiting for her tremors to subside. Eventually she spoke, the words slightly muffled between them.

"... I don't think I can sleep again after that."

"I could stay for a while... if you'd like..." offered Newt hesitantly.

Amy took almost a full minute to respond. "Okay."

In that way, they ended up sitting on the bed together. To distract her, Newt started a game where they would guess details about the other's life before they were put in the maze.

"Do you think I had a job?"

"Some sort of doctor or nurse in training, I bet. You don't look old enough to have had a degree... maybe you were training to become a veterinarian, and that's why you're so rough with all your patients," Newt chuckled, while Amy shot him a look. "What do you think I might've been doing?"

"Hmmm...."

And so they went on for hours by the warm glow of a small lamp while the rain subsided, until Amy eventually fell asleep. Gently, Newt allowed her to slide from his shoulder down onto her hammock, drawing a blanket over her before silently making his way back to his own room.


	3. The Worst Form of Kindness

The gladers stared, dumbfounded, around them. Electricity crackled and broken glass was strewn everywhere, among the bodies of people in white lab coats. All dead. Some intact screens remained, displaying information. Data. Images. A few included mugshots of the boys. 

Amelia slowly made her way past some of the screens, peering at what was written there. Below Newt's name and image were the words, 'Isaac Newton. _______, Group A.' A bullet hole in the screen punched out a word, sending a spiderweb of cracks across the rest of the glass where  further information was written, such as age, blood type, and several photographs taken with neuroimaging. It was the same for the others. A few screens down, Amy's own face flickered. The screen read, 'Amelia Earhart. Immune, Group A. Blood type O-negative.' Farther down, a note had apparently been jotted by one of the scientists. 'Universal donor. Possible cure. Unexpected variable, observe closely.'

Before she could react, a video crackled to life on the large screen in the centre of the room. All of the gladers froze where they stood. In the centre of the frame was a middle-aged woman in a white coat. She looked grim. In the background, chaos and gunshots seemed to be drawing ever nearer as she spoke. She explained the nature of the Maze Trials, what had happened to the world, why they had been experimenting on 'immunes' in an attempt to map their brains and find a cure for the Flare. She explained as much as she could, before she raised a gun to her head and pulled the trigger, escaping whoever was about to burst through the glass behind her. When it was over, nobody knew how to respond. The woman had only created more questions.

Then someone spoke, "we have to get out of here."

The group came back together, heading for an exit, but found their way blocked.

Gally stood before them, breathing raspily. His eyes were bloodshot, and he seemed unsteady on his feet. And he was holding a gun.

"We can't leave."

Then everything happened at once. Gally raised the gun, gripped tightly in a trembling hand. Amy backed away until she bumped into a table littered with medical instruments. Minho's fingers wound around his spear, and Amy's hand slid over the table behind her, reaching for something, anything that she could use as a weapon if necessary. Her fingers closed around a syringe. She held onto it. Not the best weapon, but still deadly. If she could get close enough, she could stab him with a syringe full of air. Some part of her knew that the oxygen would clot his blood and eventually kill him. Not necessarily quick, but very effective.

"I belong to the maze."

Gally pointed the weapon directly at Thomas and Minho's spear flew through the air as his finger pulled the trigger. The bullet left the weapon with a bang that seemed to make the room tremble. Gally went down with a gurgle as the spear thunked into his chest. Amy barely had the chance to react before Chuck collapsed to the ground in front of Thomas. 

There was nothing anyone could've done for him. He died in Thomas's arms while Amelia looked on, never having felt so useless in her life. 

Minutes later, a group of people rushed in and dragged them away. By then Amy had slid her improvised weapon into her pocket, in case it came in useful. It tinkled quietly against two vials of sedative that she had also snagged, for the same reason. For the moment, she decided not to struggle. 

\---

The desert baked the group to a crisp as they made their way slowly across the mountains of sand. It blew into their faces and their eyes, searing hot. At the back of the group, Winston was half-dragged along by two others. They took turns carrying him, and he was too weak to protest.

Eventually, though, they were too tired to continue. They couldn't keep going this way, using up more energy than they could spare on Winston. But nobody would admit it. They stubbornly refused to leave him, even though his chances of making it were getting smaller with every step they dragged him. Amy had done her best to bandage him up with their limited resources, but that didn't stop his wound from turning a dark, angry colour, almost black. 

When they couldn't walk anymore, Newt decided they would stay there for the night. A rudimentary shelter was set up to protect them from the worst of the sun's rays until it slipped below the horizon, and Winston was made as comfortable as possible. Few slept that night, as Winston coughed and choked and made small whimpering sounds.

Amy checked on him throughout the night, but was able to do little. She moved to sit farther away from the others, staring up at the sky for comfort. It was, without a doubt, the most beautiful night she could remember seeing. The milky way spun slowly above her, tracing a glowing path across the sky.

Some time later, Newt joined her a short distance away. Clearly, he couldn't sleep either. No words were exchanged between them. They simply sat there and shared the night sky together.

Hours later, a loud click echoed through the air. By then, the horizon was beginning to glow orange. Shouts burst from the tent farther up the sand dune.

"Winston, no!"

Amy leapt to her feet, her stiff legs carrying her as quickly as possible up the hill, leaving Newt to follow at her heels. They arrived at the sight of Minho straddling Winston, pinning him to ground, wrestling a gun from his hands.

"The stupid shank is trying to kill himself!"

Winston struggled, "please... please! I have to do this!" His eyes fixed on Newt, still standing a few paces behind Amy. "Newt... you know I won't make it. I'm dragging you all down with me." When he stopped writhing, Minho backed off, still crouching beside him. Winston lifted his shirt, showing the awful black lines snaking out from his wound and spreading across his chest, up his neck, down his arms. "Newt, please. You have to leave me here. Just give me the gun and go. Please."

The agony in Newt's eyes was indescribable. He hated to think about it this way. But Winston was right. Everyone knew it. 

"Okay." His voice broke as he forced the word out, feeling the weight of the boy's impending death rest on his shoulders. He reached out to pick up the gun and hand it back to Winston.

Amy stopped him. She knew what she had to do, suddenly very aware of the syringe in her pocket. She couldn't save him from death, but she could save him pain.

Newt glanced confusedly at her, but she was focused on Winston. She leaned down and slowly pulled his fingers from the gun.

"It doesn't have to be this way, Winston. Not like this. I can help." She pulled the syringe from her pocket, along with the two vials of sedative. "If I inject you with this, it will hurt less. You'll just lose consciousness and slip away." 

Winston looked at the needle, then back at Amy, and nodded. 

Tears spilling down her cheeks, Amy pulled back the plunger, filling the syringe with more sedative than she knew Winston's body would be able to handle, emptying both vials. She moved to kneel beside him and took his hand, squeezing it lightly. While the others gathered around, she looked into his eyes, unable to accept what was about to happen. She sat there, not moving.

Winston was crying, too, "please, Amy... just do it."

Amy willed her hand to move, carefully sliding the needle into a vein in Winston's arm and slowly pressing down the plunger, releasing the fluid into his blood.

The others in the group began to mumble their goodbyes. After a minute or so, Winston passed out. His breathing slowed until it eventually stopped, and then he was gone.


	4. The Death Cheat

Newt released Thomas's jacket collar, taking a step back.

"I... I'm sorry..." he mumbled, staring at his hand as if it had suddenly turned into a snake. Without another word, he whirled around and strode away.

The room was silent for a moment, until Amy cleared her throat.

"I'll, uh... go after him."

\---

"Hey."

Newt sat on the edge of the roof, one hand gripping his forearm as he curled and flexed his fingers. He continued staring out at the city, unresponsive.

Amy sighed and sat down beside him, leaving a fair distance between them. She allowed her feet to dangle over the edge of the roof, and glanced at Newt. She wanted to say something that would help, would make him feel better, but she couldn't think of anything.

Newt caught the glance.

"It's best not to be in my company right now, Amelia," he said bitterly.

Amy wasn't going to let him push her away so easily. She glanced at his arm, which he was still holding as if trying to restrain it, "... Something's wrong, isn't it?"

Newt huffed and rolled up his sleeve, and the 'something' became immediately apparent. The veins had turned a dark colour, almost black, snaking beneath his skin, spreading outwards. The flare was beginning to take hold of him.

"You might say that." Newt's eyes locked with hers. They shone with all of the fear and desperation that he had been forcing down for weeks. "I'm going crazy, Amy. I can feel it, every second, like an itch. It's getting worse. Soon, I'll be a danger to you all. You'll have to put me down before I bloody wig out and kill you."

Amelia felt her hand twitch, wanting so badly to reach out and squeeze his in comfort. But right now, he was too volatile. Unpredictable. Instead, she strangled the cold cement border beneath her until her knuckles turned white, blinking away the tears that blurred her vision. "I won't let that happen. We haven't made it this far so you can die. We can still fix this," she declared with iron in her voice.

"You don't get it, do you?!-" anger was seeping back into his expression, but before he could continue, the door behind them swung open. Thomas stood looking from Amy to Newt, his hand still on the doorknob.

"We're about to head out to the city. Meet us downstairs in five."

Without meeting Newt's eyes, he turned and disappeared back down the stairs.

Newt scrambled to his feet, and with a last glance at Amy, went to join the others. She sat blankly for a moment, regaining her composure, before rising and trudging after him.

\---

The entire city was burning. Buildings crumbled around them, bombs rocking the streets. Shrapnel flew through the air, deadly as any bullet. They were trapped, sheltering behind a low wall as a stampede of cranks stormed through the hole ripped in the protective borders of the city. It was chaos.

Newt had collapsed, and sat slumped with his back to the wall, as the flare slowly took over his body.

All Amy could do was shield him with her body, as Thomas lay on the ground, panting, beside them.

Newt coughed, something black spilling down his chin. "You have to leave me," he half turned to Thomas, managing to grab him tightly by the sleeve, "Tommy, take Amelia and get of here. Right now. Do you hear me? GO!"

Amy almost growled, "I will NOT leave you here!" But Newt was right. There was no way he was going to make it out on time to get to the serum... the serum! If they couldn't bring Newt there, they could still bring it to him. It was a slim chance, but it was all they had left.

"Thomas! We need to get a vial of the serum from Brenda and get it back here!"

Understanding flashed in his eyes, and he rose to a crouch, ready to run. He glanced back at Amy, confusion in his gaze when she didn't do the same.

"I'm staying here, Thomas."

"But- "

"No! Just make it back here in time, alright? Now go! Run!"

With a final nod and a look of utter regret, Thomas shot out from behind the wall, dashing as fast as his legs could carry him towards where he hoped Brenda would be waiting.

"AMY! Just leave me, damn it! I'm not gonna make it, but you can still get out alive -" he was interrupted by another coughing fit, causing him to slide further to the ground. He grabbed Amy roughly by the the jacket, attempting to shove her in the direction Thomas had gone. "Get away from me!"

"No!" Amy crawled closer, pushing him back up against the wall, "just hold still. Thomas will get back soon and we'll all leave together."

Before he could say anything more, Newt began to cough. The fit ended in a gurgle and he slumped against the wall, unresponsive. His head hung, grimy blond locks dangling before his eyes. He looked dead.

"NEWT!" Amy squeezed him by the shoulders and shook roughly, "Newt, wake up! We're almost through this! Come on!"

A growl suddenly tore its way from his throat, and his head rose slowly, his brown eyes were feral and bloodshot when they met Amy's. With a shove, he toppled her over backwards, pinning her to the ground beneath him.

Amy gasped in pain as her wrists were ground into the rough pavement under his full weight. "Newt! Newt, please! You can fight this!" She struggled against him, managing to get a knee under him and shove him off.

"No... I.... CAN'T," he rasped out, drawing his knife from his belt and advancing towards her again, his gait wobbly.

Amelia scooted away until her spine collided with the cement wall of a building. There had to be something, anything. They just needed more time. She had to slow him down. What could she use? All she had was a stupid syringe from the lab...  _That's it!_   The image of a screen flashed before her mind's eye, displaying the words  _'universal donor'_ and _'possible cure.'_ Her blood type was O-negative, and her cells were immune to the flare. So that meant... if she could inject him...

Amy pulled the syringe out of her pocket, and, biting down hard on the collar of her jacket, inserted it into the vein on her arm and pulled the plunger all the way back. In theory, she could inject him with her blood and his body wouldn't reject it. In theory. But it was all she had. When she withdrew the needle, Newt was dangerously close.

Gripping the syringe tightly in one hand, she sprang forwards, shoving his legs out from under him. The knife clattered to the ground as she sat on him with her full weight while he writhed beneath her.

"Newt! Hold still! Please, Newt! It's me! It's Amy!"

The fire in his eyes dulled for a moment, and his movements slowed.

"Why can't you just let me die? Please, Amy, please... "

Amelia leaned in close, her tears dripping onto his shirt. She hugged him against her, feeling him begin to struggle again, his legs still pinned beneath her. His hand clawed over the pavement, reaching for the knife.

"Because I love you, Newt. That's why."

And with that, she stabbed the needle into his jugular, pushing the plunger down and injecting him with her blood. At the same time, Newt roared, his knife ripping a gash into her shoulder, before he shuddered and went slack in her arms.

Amy screamed in pain at the feeling of the cold metal severing her muscle, but didn't let go of him. When the knife clattered to the ground a second time, she kicked it away.

"Stay with me, Newt. Please. I love you. You're going to be okay. Please..."

The desperate words poured out of her mouth as she held Newt, unconscious, in her lap. Shuddering at the pain in her shoulder, she stroked his hair out of his face and cupped his cheeks, her tears tracing streaks where they landed in the dust on his face.

Newt moaned, only half conscious.

Footsteps pounded towards them and Amelia turned to see Thomas sprinting in their direction. He skidded to a halt and crouched down beside him, glancing from the blood dripping down Amy's arm, to the limp form of Newt she was cradling, to the empty syringe and the knife laying on the ground.

"Is he...?"

"No, he's unconscious. Give him the serum!"

Newt moaned again when another needle punctured his skin, filling his veins with the serum. His eyes fluttered open.

"... Amy...?" He mumbled.

"Yes! I'm here! I'm here, Newt! You're okay," she laughed.

Thomas slid his arm around his friend to support him, "hey, Newt. Think you can make it back?"

Newt got unsteadily to his feet, and Amy dove to his other side to take on some of his weight. In this way, they managed to get him to stumble out towards the edge of the city, where the berg was waiting for them.

They almost reached it when suddenly, a voice echoed through the air. Teresa. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. She was begging Thomas to come back, saying that they had found a cure.

"You can still save him, Thomas. You can still save Newt."

Thomas faltered, the uncertainty in his face clear. He looked at Newt, and then back at the lab, and then at Amy. He knew the serum wouldn't help Newt for long. His friend would still die without a cure.

Amy understood the emotions as they swirled over his face. "Go. I've got him."

Slowly, Thomas released his grip on Newt, who managed to keep his feet under him enough that Amy could still handle the weight.

"If I don't make it back..."

"You'll make it back." It came out as an order.

Thomas nodded and turned around, heading back into the city as it fell around them.

Meanwhile, Amy managed to drag a half-conscious Newt back towards the berg. As soon as she exited the doors and came into view, a crowd of others rushed over and helped carry him into the craft.

"Thomas went back, didn't he. For the cure," said Brenda. It wasn't even a question, really. Of course he had.

Amy nodded, unable to meet her eyes.

"Alright then. Guess we'd better go save his ass." Brenda swung around, making her way over towards where Jorge sat grimly in the pilot's chair, "Let's go."

The door at the end of the aircraft slowly swung shut and the a hum reverberated through the walls as it rose into the air.

Newt stirred where he lay beside Amy, and she reached down and took his hand in hers, smiling.

"Hey. We made it. It's okay. You're safe now."


	5. Safe Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated PG-13 for some not-quite-smut. Enjoy!

The waves lapped lazily at the shore, the water reflecting in its ripples the flames of various torches and bonfires farther up the beach. Multiple tents and shelters had been rigged up, around which milled large numbers of people. The majority of them were young, about my age. Fellow test subjects. Well, formerly.

Hundreds of voices overlapped, floating up towards the darkening sky. There was laughter. After all, we were celebrating. We were celebrating because, finally, we had reached a safe haven, far away from the Maze and the Scorch and Wicked and the Flare. At long last, we were safe.

I couldn't believe it. I sat quietly on the rocks, the waves softly clattering against them below me, as I stared up at the first few stars beginning to shimmer bravely above us. After all this time spent running, feeling death panting down the back of our necks, it was difficult to allow myself to think we might finally be free.

A familiar shuffle behind me announced his arrival.

"Hey. Mind if I join you?"

I glanced over at Newt, and gave a small smile. He took it as an affirmative and slid down to sit beside me. I turned my gaze back out to the vast open water, tracing the line where it met the darkening sky with my eyes.

Newt followed my gaze, "beautiful, innit," he said quietly.

I sighed softly in confirmation.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here to see it," he continued, turning to me. "You saved my life, Amy."

He had my full attention now, but I didn't know how to respond. I just stared into his eyes, so dark they appeared almost black. Wanting so much to say something, anything.

"I tried to bloody kill you... and you still wouldn't let me go."

He reached out slowly, fingers brushing against the bandaged cut on my shoulder. I flinched at the sting, all the while hating myself for it, knowing what would come next.

"I'm so... so sorry," he murmured, withdrawing his hand.

I couldn't handle the pain and regret in his eyes, and, before I could think, reached out and grabbed his wrist before he managed to draw it all the way towards himself.

"It's okay, Newt. I know that wasn't you."

He glanced down at where my fingers were wrapped around his wrist and I let go, sheepish.

He appeared to consider something for a moment, before he took in a sharp breath and met my gaze again.

"Would you join me for a walk?"

At my nod, accompanied by a quiet 'sure', he got awkwardly to his feet and extended a hand towards me to help me up.

I took it, hopong he didn't notice the way the contact made my heart beat faster and heat rise to my cheeks.

I expected him to let go as we started walking, away from the crowd behind us, but he didn't. He seemed not to even notice his hand still holding mine as we made our way slowly off the rocks and along the edge of the waves that lapped against the sand.

We walked in silence for a while, until we rounded a corner. There, Newt halted and released my hand. By now the last rays of the sun were sinking below the horizon, turning the ocean scarlet and the sky into a watercolour painting of pink and orange and crimson. The others were out of sight, only a few snatches of lighthearted laughter occasionally drifted over.

I turned to see Newt regarding me with an intensity I had never witnessed before.

"I remember what you said, Amelia. You probably didn't think I would, but I need to know. Was it true?"

I trembled as he leaned closer, gaze burning into mine.

"Amy. You said... you said you loved me. Did you mean that? Or did you just say it because... you thought it might help get me out of there?"

I stared back, swallowing hard. In my mind, I was screaming my answer, but the words just wouldn't come.

"Amy..." his voice sounded pained.

"It was true, Newt... it IS true. I meant every word."

He went silent as I stood there trembling. A soft breeze from the ocean ruffled his blonde hair as his eyes searched mine for another moment before he responded.

"...Good that."

Newt took a step forward and closed the space between us, his hand gently tilting my chin up as his lips came down to press against mine. The kiss was soft but urgent.

I stood, frozen, until he broke away and looked at me quizzically. The last thing I wanted was for him to stop, so I stretched up and pressed my lips back to his, earning a surprised gasp as my fingers tangled in his hair to bring him closer. His lips were chapped and he tasted like sweat and blood and dirt and I didn't care, only ever wanting more.

His hands rose to my sides, holding me tentatively at first, then pulling me closer as his grip tightened and he deepened the kiss. I caught his bottom lip between my teeth and tugged softly, drawing a quiet, low sound from the back of his throat as he pulled my hips up against his, sliding his fingers up my sides under my shirt.

Then suddenly he broke away, panting, hands halting in their path.

"Is this okay?"

I pressed myself closer against him, dizzy, our foreheads connecting, staring into his dark brown eyes.

"This is everything I've dreamed of for so long."

And with that, he wasted no time shoving mouth back onto mine. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I allowed him entry, slipping my own tongue out to meet his while I slid my hands up under his shirt, tracing along his back, mapping my way up his spine, along his shoulder blades, over the muscles in his shoulders, all the while his hands explored me.

They were rough from working in the gardens for years, and felt amazing against my skin, tracing along my curves, holding me as close as possible against his body. Wanting to make it easier for him, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up over my head, dropping it on the ground beside me.

Instead of continuing like I wanted him to, Newt stopped and took a step back. I saw the surprise in his gaze and for a moment was afraid I may have gone too far somehow, until his eyes slowly slid down my body. I felt a blush rise once more to my cheeks as I stood there, shirtless, before him.

His eyes met mine again and he calmly reached over his shoulder and tugged off his own shirt, dropping it beside mine.

I couldn't help myself; I stared. He looked... amazing. The moonlight glowed softly on his skin, etching every angle, curve, and dip of his lean form in patterns of light and shadow.

Then he smiled and took my hand, drawing me in again. His breath was warm against my neck as he whispered, "have I ever mentioned how beautiful you are, Amelia?"

I tried to find the words to respond but then his lips began tracing down my neck, and I forgot how to speak.


End file.
